I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
