apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
