I just made out with a guy for $7.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
