I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
