that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
