Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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