Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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