Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
