I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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