So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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