is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
