he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
lets start a swedish sibling band together
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
They have beer where we have blood.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
