Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
