I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
