The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
