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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
