Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize