Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
