Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Randomize
