I think i sorta joined a cult last night
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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