Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
