id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
