i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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