remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
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and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
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He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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