u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
