I heard we made out
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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