oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
