thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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