Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I supernannyed him into submission
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
