the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
