I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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