Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
