Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
