i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
