@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
