Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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