it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
