If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
