last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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