Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
