If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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