if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize