Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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