Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
