I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
