but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
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I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
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Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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