Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
