i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
