Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize