Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
