So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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