Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
