it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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