I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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