btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
