He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
