i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
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She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
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It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
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