Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
honey bunches of taint.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
