If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
