I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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