It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
