You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
