I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
