I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
