I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
